Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
