The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
