Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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