dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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