I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize