I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
