he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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