Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
