we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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