Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize