it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
