32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize