You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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