Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
