My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
