I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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