He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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