Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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