with your own penis?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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