I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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