I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
