operation have a gay friend backfired
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
