new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it's like iHOP with fire
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
