The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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