I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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