Plan B is the new Plan A
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
