i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just want to make out with him forever
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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