I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Are we still banned from the library?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
