Non-Jews are for practice
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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