it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
