he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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