just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
