Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
