ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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