You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
