i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
