i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
