im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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