Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
