what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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