i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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