I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
