You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
