someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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