Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
