i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think I won the penis lottery.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
