Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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