My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
