Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
