We're like a lot better than the average bears
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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