You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize