have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
