I can't watch pbs sober anymore
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
