So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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