what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
