I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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