I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
