Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
