That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
