roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
