He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
