those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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