so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
