if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
