i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
